White Plains, April 29, 2002.  Well, an amazing pair of obituaries over the weekend:  General Alexander Lebed, paratroop commander of the Soviet Red Army, government official and presidential candidate of the Russian Republic, and Ruth Handler inventor of the Barbie Doll.  (By the way, your TD is pleased to see that the Prez has FINALLY taken some initiative to basically FORCE, rather than broker, some movement in the Middle East, even if it is only Yasser's personal movement; if this persists, maybe he'll get used to it and FORCE an ultimate solution down both parties' throats; most Israelis, and many Palestinians, would support this).

General Lebed had a decisive role in the bizarre '90-91 coup that removed Gorbachev in favor of Boris Yeltsin; ultimately, he proved to be a patriot, and his actions may have single-handedly saved democracy in Russia.  Later, he ran a bizarre "get tough" presidential campaign AGAINST Yeltsin, only to throw his support behind Yeltsin in the ultimate run-off.  Still, to have lived such a life (including having suffered a broken back as a paratrooper) and be dead at 52 in a helicopter crash:  wow.  All told, an amazing man.

Ms. Handler (dead at 85) was a denizen of a struggling post-war LA-based toy company called Mattel, until she came up with its blockbuster product, a sort of anatomically correct doll, named after her daughter (Barbara Segal, also of LA, not Barbi Benton, as I often heard rumored; Ken was named after Ms. Handler's late son).  The doll generated much feminist ideological idiocy about the absurd expectations of pulchritude the doll may have engendered in certain already insecure people (a 5'6" proportioned woman would measure an extremely unlikely 39-21-33, to match Barbie's proportions).  But sometimes, a doll is just a doll:  the damn thing sold kazillions, and made Ms. Handler fabulously rich.  Ms. Handler, evidently, never let the politically correct bullshit bother

her:  and she has this TD's admiration for that.

Brooklyn, April 28, 2002.  Sorry sports fans.  Not only did the Yankees let a no-hitter slip away (and losing the game to boot -- while the archrival Red Sox pulled off their own no-hitter!!!) your TD disappointed all and crapped out of running the Achilles Marathon.  Not to worry:  he's entered in the big one in November, and may try to find another 26-miler somewhere between now and then -- so there.  Only one of our readers pledged on the hotline (thanks Al!), so at least Habitat didn't suffer that much.

Oh well; your TD's commute has wreaked havoc to his training activities (not that they were substantial when the TD worked in the shadow of the WTC), but adding 3 hours a day for a round trip to work is not a formula for success.

Meanwhile, yet another horror story out of the Middle East: a group of settlers ambushed by Palestinian gunman, four dead including small children.  Massive IDF retaliations will likely follow, and the cycle continues.

Alas, I tend to agree with New York Times shill [and Shadow Secretary of State] Thomas Friedman:  the United States has to impose a solution on both parties, and soon.  Otherwise, we can watch the Israelis and Palestinians come up with new and creative ways to kill one another.

In the meantime, The Times also reports on new Defense Department doctrine that invading Saddam will wait until next year (after Congressional elections?) for various logistical and political reasons.  That gives Saddam at least that much time to develop appropriately nasty weapons of mass destruction to deter us from doing just that.  (Time is on Saddam's side; in the end, American action will be unilateral.  Lining up "coalition support" seems to be simply cover for other excuses for inaction.  Let's hope that the Prez gets as decisive on this issue as he did with his tax cut.  If so, Saddam is in big trouble... If not, then the rest of us are.)

Brooklyn, April 27, 2002.  Well, let's hear it for 150,000 or so protesters in France who took to the streets to show their narrow-mindedness in protest of the alleged narrow-mindedness of candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen (you know: Le Rightwing Nut).

Had they, of course, bothered to go out and VOTE for Jospin, their usual candidate, Monsieur Le Pen could have gone back to the fringe, and waited until he was about 80 to run again.  Aside from Le Pen and the National Front's undeniable and unrepentant anti-Semitism and general bigotry, though, your TD wonders about some of what this protestation against Le Pen is really about?  I'm not sure he doesn't have a point about the EU -- a bizarrely elitist, anti-democratic institution accountable to no one that is constantly acting to weaken its nation state components (you know: the ones that ARE democratic and accountable).

Brooklyn, April 26, 2002.  Let's hear it for Crown Prince Abdullah, telling our fearless president that unless he intervenes in the Middle East in a way that the Saudi leader likes, we will have "real trouble".  You've got to admire the humility of the Saudis:  we have yet to hear anything like, oh, an apology for the fact that 15 of 19 September 11th terrorists were Saudi citizens, acting under the direction of a VERY prominent Saudi citizen, funded with Saudi money, ostensibly carrying out a logical conclusion to what they learned in Saudi funded schools.

No, instead we get lambasted for not being "even-handed".  We should follow the Saudi lesson on this score:  apparently, besides Saddam Hussein, the Saudi government (or at least prominent citizens, in that totalitarian medieval shithole, is there really a difference?) sends stipend reward checks to families of suicide bomber murderers (martyrs in the Saudi parlance).

The good news:  with the might of the IDF on display in Jenin, Ramallah and Bethlehem, and the might of the American military on display in Central Asia, the Arab world, where (per cliché) actions speak louder than words, the Arabs know that they are on the defensive, and lack either the will or the ability to repulse a direct frontal assault.  The bad news:  we may not get our own message, and listen to barbarian tyrants for fear of gasoline prices going up a few cents.

You've read it here many times before.  My recommendation continues to be:  level Mecca.  Then we can consider Saudi protestations about Middle East peace from a position of having the Saudi's respect, a place we are not apparently at.

Brooklyn, April 24, 2002.  Well, its just about time for your TD's running of the Achilles Marathon (scheduled for Sunday morning).  Last year, the TD raised over 300 bucks for NYC's chapter of Habitat for Humanity -- a worthy cause despite its association with former president Carter.

So, I'm asking our loyal readers to pledge generously to the cause -- 'cause I'm not sure I'm up to running the event (but will if there are some smackers for Habitat riding on it).  I doubt I'll equal last year's time of 5:04 or so (placing me 26th of 41 in the "able bodied finisher category").  But still, all you need to do is click here, thetalkingdog@thetalkingdog.com, and e-mail us with your with your earthly name, snail mail address, and the amount of your pledge (suggested amounts are a dollar per mile, or $26, or for the metrically committed, $42 (a dollar per kilometer).  Pledges unrelated to the course distance are also welcome.  If NO ONE responds to this pledge drive, I probably won't run...  on the other hand, if you pledge generously, I promise to post pictures of your TD (as taken by the course photographers) -- so you can have a good laugh watching the Talking Dog die like a dog.  Pledge generously!  (We won't bother you again until...next week at the earliest!

And now, I suppose, we can take an assessment of the Mayor's "first hundred days" (probably about 115 or so) in office, and give a big "huh"?  Where has this guy been?  And I don't just mean on weekends.  Sure, the Board of Ed needs reform, and hopefully, that deal can get done.  And sure, your TD actually thinks the mayor's stand that increased taxes are anathema -- even at the expense of service cuts -- is probably sensible at a time when the City is reeling and desperate to attract new business and more importantly, hold on to the business (and productive people) it already has.  But on the whole, the last guy (you know, the LEADER whose coat Governor Pataki held, according to the loathsome little fuck Andrew Cuomo, who as an aside joined his brother-in-law, former heavy heroin user Robert Kennedy Jr., in lamenting that large pig farmers are a greater threat to our nation and our democracy than Osama bin Laden) -- that guy had that vision thing.

Sure, Mike had a good enough strategy to make himself one of the richest men in the City (if not the world).  But, this City is bigger than that!  It needs a vision even bigger than that -- all the more critical as we rebuild from 9-11.

Finally, we are delighted that the Pope came through on one of our April Fool’s predictions; of course, when Cardinals actually start resigning in consequence for their cardinal sins of omission -- THEN we will believe the apology is sincere.

White Plains, April 22, 2002.  Well, let's hear it for our good friends, the French.  True to form, the French wanted to show the world that Jorg Haider is not just a small country aberration, but the EU's second (and the world's fifth) largest economy notwithstanding, good old fashioned bigotry and anti-Semitism, along with plain old xenophobia, live on in 21st century France (as if recent synagogue attacks and other indicia did not make this all obvious).  (As an aside, note that in the post 9-11 US of A, support for Israel over the Palestinians hovers at over 3 to 1, while in major countries of Europe, such as France, Britain and Italy, it goes the other way by over 2 to 1; amazingly, the exception is Germany, where support tends to be about even; but your TD digresses).

Vive le Vichy!  Vive Monsieur LePen et la Fronte Nationale!  Of course, with the zany French, one wonders what difference a LePen government would make in the great scheme of things anyway?  Perhaps Monsieur Le President Le Pen would actually be MORE willing to join a US-led coalition to remove Saddam Hussein than the Chirac government for example?  Who knows if the crazed right wing nut might just not make for a more orderly world than the maddening appeasers that currently run France (and the rest of Europe)?

All parties in France must, of course, now "do their duty" to defeat Monsieur LePen.  Indeed, Archrival Jospin has had his spokesman say that HE will vote for the despised Chirac.

Brooklyn, April 21, 2002.  Well, you've got to hand it to The New York Times:  its Sunday magazine lead cover story article on Florida is, of course, little more than Janet Reno campaign literature!  We learn more about her (much of it probably erroneous, though some interesting, such as Janet Reno's pre-Ellis Island name being the Danish "Rasmussen", Reno apparently selected from a map) in a more favorable light than one thought humanly possible!  We here at TTD, of course, like to pump whatever little air we can into the quixotic campaign of former Attorney General and future Florida governor Reno (there, we did it again) -- but in all seriousness -- we think The Times is simply desperate to keep the happy days of the Clinton Administration alive!  (Obviously, despite the fact that JEB is by far the most intelligent, and therefore probably least sinister, scion of the Bush dynasty [he actually speaks Spanish, apparently, although with the Bush family, you'd have to see it for yourself!] I would vote against him just because he was a Bush, and even if it were Bill Clinton's best friend in the world, Janet Reno, running against him).

So Janet, keep on driving that pick up.  The paper of record for the other 5 of the 6 boroughs believes in you! And brake for those manatees!

White Plains, April 19, 2002.  Your TD has seen polls that right now show that the American public, 7 months post 9-11 would STILL prefer to (1) attack Iraq, as soon as possible, unilaterally if necessary, and with nuclear weapons if necessary; (2) support Israel in invading, occupying, and if necessary, leveling the West Bank and Gaza strip; (3) impose stringent increases in gas mileage ("CAFE") requirements; and (4) ban all forms of human cloning, "therapeutic" or not.  Frankly, the public is now more interested in what can be construed as "public affairs" than at any time this generation, largely as a result of the September 11th events.

Nonetheless, our free press (with the apparent exception of the Internet) seems to have reverted to form, perhaps because of its intrinsic liberal bias (yes, it has one).  The conventional wisdom in the media seems to believe that talking up what's happening in the world somehow helps the Bush Administration, ergo, the front pages of our tabloids, and some of our more serious news outlets, are back to the IMPORTANT news.  You know:  what J-Lo is wearing.

The rest of us, I suppose, really don't care HOW many of our military men and women are now committed to fighting in South Central Asia, or much else.

Talking Dog Point Constitutional Freedom and Right to Counsel Extra:
Hey, what about this Lynne Stewart thing?  Hasn't anybody been paying attention?  Do we realize how incredibly dangerous it is to allow the Attorney General -- especially a zealous idiot like John Ashcroft who lost an election to a dead man -- to arbitrarily declare that some prisoners, even evil bastards such as Sheikh Abdul Rachman, are effectively not entitled to counsel?  Because that's what the Lynne Stewart prosecution is -- point blank.  If Lynne were accused of a direct role in terrorism, or of aiding and abetting the evil Sheikh's advancement of terrorism, then I would personally (well, rhetorically) be at the head of the lynch mob.  The rule is:  the client goes to jail, not the lawyer.  The lawyer represents the client for past bad acts, and does not serve as consigliore for new bad acts.

Lynne Stewart has specialized in representing the extremely unpopular.  But her shtick is as an old time leftie:  if the Sheikh were a supporter of the Soviet Union, I might buy these bullshit charges against Lynn.  Her, an advancer of Middle Eastern terrorism?  Pllllleeeeease.

No, what this is about is a message, a message reminiscent of Ari Fleischer's chilling "in times like these we should all watch what we say and do".  The message to the bar is:  don't take cases like these.  Forgetting the public ostracism from representing REALLY BAD PEOPLE, and the effect on your practice, now you can add possible arbitrary prosecution to the list of your concerns.  Nice.

Your TD is familiar with this.  Although his career has been as a civil lawyer, he recalls at least two cases where he was told, point blank, by trial judges with the power to issue arbitrary fines, that he shouldn't be representing certain people deemed unpopular by the court.  And this in CIVIL cases, solely about money, with a MONEY FINE intended to chill further representations of that type.

White Plains, April 17, 2002.  Well, let's hear it for the "spring thaw" in terrorist activity predicted for this season by our president at (newly integrated) VMI.  In the Middle East, of course, at this time of year, a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of martyrdom (and  his 72 Black eyed virgins).  So one wonders what exactly the president -- who is finally looking as stupid as he did BEFORE September 11th -- is thinking about (other than cloning, of course).

Frankly my scorecard shows the good guys (represented by the troika of George, Dick and Colin) 0, with the axis of evil (Osama, Saddam and Omar) ahead at 1.  Fortunately, we seem to be in the early innings, so Saddam doesn't have to go the bomb!  Still, it would be nice if our "free press" actually reported just how extensive our troop build up in Afghanistan really is, as a result of how ridiculously UNsuccessful our initial "victory" against the "regrouping" Taliban and al Qaeda forces really was.  Honestly, if we are going to do anything militarily, we will do it unilaterally, and our "friends" will wisely jump on board.  Why the need to placate Riyadh and Cairo -- home of the bastards who murdered over 3,000 Americans last September?  I mean, George, Dick and Colin:  you will NEVER fully satisfy your Arab masters -- so why start now?

Brooklyn, April 15, 2002.  Happy birthday to our own unseen editor.  He knows who he is.  And get those tax return extension requests postmarked!  You'll be wanting to incur the half percent a month "non-payment" penalty rather than the vicious 5% per month "non-filing" penalty (if, like some, you just send in the extension sans green).  Fortunately, by the end of the Bush Administration, those of us who earn much over say $40,000 a year will probably not be paying taxes!  At least, that's the theory.

Well, obviously, your TD, like many "bloggers", is obsessed with the Middle East.  The answer, of course, comes from our featured link The Economist, which suggests simply that the United States impose more or less the plan agreed upon by the then lame duck Barak government, but withdrawn shortly before the less forgiving Sharon government arrived.  Dubya had best act soon while his approval ratings hover merely at 70%!  Another link comes from this rather long-winded blogger Unqualified Offerings.  But I think the right wing Limeys have it correct.  Just impose order, if not peace.

Meanwhile, one wonders what the hell we're doing the rest of the time.  Fine:  we can sit back and watch Argentina (the world's 14th – no make that 22nd! – largest economy) go to hell in a hand basket.  But Venezuela?  Our number three external oil supplier?  Surely we take an interest there?  Don't we?  Oy.

By the way, we have it from a decent source (with picture, not shown here for security reasons – actually, because I don't have the picture) that the undisclosed location the Veep often hangs out in is actually in his official home state of Wyoming.  More later.  Perhaps our esteemed current mayor will reveal to us that he spends weekends in Bermuda?  Or perhaps HE is with the Veep in Jackson Hole  (oops, I said it).

Brooklyn, April 14, 2002.  My sincere apologies to our readers for our recent reticence.  The perfect storm to silence your Talking Dog occurred:  my home AOL service crashed, while I have been out of my office on trials in the courts of our fair city, unable to report THE TRUTH to you, our loyal readers.  Well, rest assured, thanks to the tireless assistance of our Unseen Editor, we are back up and running at home...

White Plains, April 5, 2002.  Well, it’s refreshing to hear that the news out of the Middle East (shocking, no?) does not seem to include the daily plethora of suicide bombers that was the subject of the news just about every day in March.  At least for the moment, of course.  Why?  Because the Israeli Defense Force is in control of Jenin, Bethlehem, Ramallah, and other hotbeds of suicide bombers, and Yasir, Hamas, and the rest of the terrorists are, at least for the moment, NOT in control of these regions that are the hotbeds of hatred, suicide bombers, and little else.  Amazing how that works.

Which leads us to the bizarre dichotomy of President Bush simultaneously condemning old Yasir for not stopping terrorism (i.e., perhaps because he IS a terrorist) but heeding the international siren song to call for the "immediate withdrawal" of IDF forces from the West Bank, the result of which will be, as it has always been, more suicide bombings, and the deaths of more Israeli women, children and civilians, at the hands of Arab suicide bombers (and others).  Huh?

Regardless of the musings of our unseen editor, the front line of World War III has shifted to the cafes of Jerusalem and Haifa:  if the terrorists are emboldened by a victory in Israel, the renewal of hostilities by the Arab world against American interests, which has never really stopped, will proceed unabated.  As the Rabid Dog noted, thanks to September 11th, and when you count things like the Lebanon barracks bombing, Khobar Towers, the Cole, the Kenyan and Tanzanian embassies, and World Trade Center bombing I, FAR MORE AMERICANS have been killed at the hands of Arab terrorists than Israelis!  And the anti-American sentiment runs as deep, frankly, as the anti-Israeli sentiment.  It’s about time we stopped trying to deny this, or trying to wonder why this is so.  It just is; there is only one thing we can do about it:  deal with it.  And acknowledge the fact that we are now at war with the Arab world, like it or not.  Israel is just the front line.  (Editor's Note:  No sense asking why the Palestinians are so angry, is there?  They're just animals, so why concern ourselves with what they think, huh?)

White Plains, NY, April 4, 2002.  Well, the Israeli Defense Force is engaged in an ongoing gunfight with Palestinians who have sought refuge (and tactical position) in Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity: one of the holiest sites in Christendom.  Your TD recently read an article (probably in one of our featured links) that the current Israeli-Palestinian battles have all the earmarks of what the Spanish Civil War did with respect to military technology and tactics in the 1930's.  That is to say, we are watching the next World War, played out on a "limited scale".  It sure looks like the earmarks of a World War, doesn't it?  Two sides living cheek by jowl, each at the other's throat, every act of violence against one seemingly fueling the ferocity of the counterattack, ad nauseam.  And on the same battlefield that seems to have been in play literally since Biblical times: a crappy stretch of desert around the size of New Jersey.

White Plains, New York, April 1, 2002.  Your LLD (or I should say, your TD, since it looks like the RD has finally succumbed to the hydrophobia) was pleased to hear that the Pope, at his Easter message, apologized to Jews and all other non-Catholics for mistreatment by the Church during the Inquisition, as well as for the Church's failure to take greater steps to oppose the Holocaust.  The Holy Father also apologized to the families and recent victims of sexual abuse by priests in the United States.

This, however, did not prepare me for the good news that came out of the Middle East, where Yasser Arafat announced his intention to renounce all violence, called for Democratic elections for the Palestinian Authority, and announced that he was now willing to waive the so-called "right of return" of Palestinian refugees to Israel in exchange for a one-time payment of $20,000 per refugee (a version of a plan first proposed in this blog!).  As a "goodwill gesture to show his seriousness, Arafat announced the arrest- and handover to Israeli authorities, of the leadership of Hamas, Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad.  Prime Minister Sharon remains hospitalized after a minor heart attack, following Chairman Arafat's recent announcements, made over a crank operated cell phone from his two room complex in Ramallah.

The Pentagon, meanwhile, announced that as a result of unprecedented cooperation from Saudi, Pakistani and Egyptian intelligence, Osama bin Laden and Mullah Omar are now in American custody in Afghanistan, and have identified most of the remaining elements of the Al Qaeda network, including its extensive links to Iran, Iraq, North Korea, and France.