The Talking Dog

April 21, 2014, The Best of America

It's been nearly ten years since Jim Henley and I trotted along in the 2004 Marine Corps Marathon, with Jim inventing a "pick me up" cheer whenever either of our energy levels flagged... we would just scream "Meb Keflezighi" at the top of our lungs. And dozens of marathons later (or even on other occasions), I sometimes still do.

Maybe it's not "fair" that the premier American marathoner of our time is technically imported-- none other than Eritrean-born Meb Keflezighi, Olympic silver medalist in Athens, winner of the New York City Marathon and now, the first American winner of the Boston Marathon in over thirty years. And an American wins Boston, in this, the year after the finish line of the storied Boston Marathon itself became the site of a deadly bombing, with much poignant recollection.

Meb, who will turn 39 in less than a fortnight's time, represents the best of America. Not just that he is, at the moment, its finest distance runner... but that this nation, of which I am not infrequently quite critical, still takes in those yearning for freedom, be they my own forbears from Eastern Europe, or a refugee from the war-torn region of Ethiopia that became Eritrea, America opened her arms, and by and large, has been pretty cool about it. (We might mention another immigrant from Africa, whose son is now President of the United States). And, of course, we're religiously tolerant (or at least had been until recently). And we have talented painters, too.

Meb Keflezighi. You are my hero.

April 1, 2014, Guest Post

Hidely-ho, neighbors. Your old pal Satan here. My buddy TD doesn't usually yield this particular space to anyone... but in this case, well, golly... I kind of made him do it.

Anyway, news from our friends around the world... we'll start with that awesome rip-off I made my servant Josh Radnor do. I haven't had that much fun since the Seinfeld finale... or Lost! ... or Dexter... I just love to spoil series-enders! So sue me... and try to find a lawyer without a conflict there.

And my servants over in Malaysia released a transcript of Stealth Flight 370's contact with air traffic controllers... Where's that plane? Damned if I know! (I LOVE this stuff!)

I see my pal Glenn Beck is being sued for defamation over my Boston Marathon thing... don't worry Glenn... you know things always turn out okily dokily for my buddies!

And in a story that warms my heart, it looks like my servants over at CIA seem to have "misled" my other servants over on the Senate Intel committee about those "interrogations" I dreamed up... man, I can't tell you how entertaining I find all of that...

So... I know some of you are wondering what's going to happen in the future... like I'd tell you! But just a few teasers... more "quantitative easing"? Check. More Guantanamo? Check. More lower unemployment by not counting people without jobs? Check. More global warming? You know how much I like heat...

WelI I'm not thinking straight... why did I have that wine cooler last month? Have a great day everybody... and thanks, TD, for letting me guest post. Like you had a choice.