the talking dog

 

AUGUST 2002 POSTINGS

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August 31, 2002, East Hampton, NY.  Well, another bad day for the Indonesian Chamber of Commerce, as a gunman kills 3, including 2 Americans, near a copper mine in Indonesian New Guinea.

We're sorry to hear about the loss of musical great Lionel Hampton as well, at age 94.

And in the "you're never REALLY sure about your well thought out position department", we have the Clintons telling us to "go easy" on possible Iraq invasion.  I guess if a unilateral attack on a foreign nation DOES NOT involve deflection of criticism from lying under oath about workplace sex, then we'd better be CAREFUL about it.  Well, I'm on record vis a vis the current Iraq war plans; the Clintons, as always, are making me bite my tongue...

Finally, for some of our readers (notably Unqualified Offerings and Mrs. TD) who are in any way offended about yesterday's post vis a vis Jackie Mason and Ray Hanania (and for the record, for those who believe your TD's barrage of bad jokes was "bigoted and unfunny", all I can say is that you left out mean-spirited and crass -- and by the way, the line about the Gaza strip WAS INCREDIBLY FUNNY), let me just offer the following:  Jackie's record as a racist and bigot, and more importantly, a JERK goes back a long way, be it making fun of Ed Sullivan, or referring to ex-mayor David Dinkins as a "fancy schwarze with a moustache".  My criticism of Jackie regarding THIS incident has little to do with whether or not I consider him a bigot; his record is not only clear, he has resurrected his career on this basis.  That's the free market of ideas -- be it for him, or for a certain talking dog.

MY criticism of Jackie is that his dismissive treatment (sending out his manager/wife to wimp out, and then LATER to say that the concern was Hanania's lack of experience) is UNPROFESSIONAL.  In your TD's book, that is the most damning criticism I can level (especially for the likes of Jackie Mason, who the odds predict is infinitely more rich and famous than your TD will ever be).  Had Jackie delivered the monologue I offered, he would have been considered, perhaps a bit offensive and insensitive (Don Rickles anyone?), but this event would have gone unnoticed, except perhaps for the laughs and/or groans of his audience.  Instead, we literally get an international incident.

Similarly, Mr. Hanania is not JUST a Palestinian American -- he too is a fascinating case study, as shown by this and in this example of his writings demonstrating that this ain't no babe in the woods.  Among other things, I PARTICULARLY like this screed by funnyman Ray:

In addition to its policy of murdering anyone it does not like, Israel's Nazi-like government is also engaged in a policy of murdering the truth, too.  And, they are very good at it.  You can't get away with a lie unless you have two things in place:  First, you have to impose controls on the media in the area of the conflict, which Israel has done by banning reporters from covering areas where its soldiers are on a blitzkrieg-like rampage, shooting civilians.  Second, you need to have a news media that doesn't care about the truth, which is the dominant attitude of the mainstream American news media.  People like MSNBC's Alan Keyes, for example, who asserts that "there is no occupation" in Palestine, and a list of commentators who enjoy the gratuity of the Israeli lobby like NPR's Linda Gradstein.  (Both Gradstein and Keyes are making more "cents" than sense these days.)  With these two factors in place, the Government of Israel can say whatever it wishes, and it is reported like fact.  And, each lie adds to the impact of the subsequent lie.  For example, the Israeli Government is asserting that "Palestinian gunmen" have "occupied" the Church of the Nativity.  The truth is that Palestinians who are resisting Israel's assault have taken refuge in the Church of the Nativity and nearly every other building in the region. But the Israeli point is to touch a nerve with Christian Americans, who are so naive about the reality of the Middle East they will swallow anything they are fed.

So Ray, Jackie would have been more than justified to tell you to go to hell, just for that article; a Google search of the rest of your writings shows a wide variety of views:  that, in some cases, some people (like Jackie, or the 75 year old Jews that typify his fans) might not appreciate.  Contrary to what you would like us all to believe, you are NOT what I would consider to be a more typical Palestinian-American (or for that matter, anyone of Arab-American descent), i.e., someone who just wants to be left alone!

Unfortunately, we can probably conclude that since Mason's announcement did not mention that Ray was arguably an apologist for terrorists, we can conclude that this was not why he canned Ray, and as noted above, I think that's probably right: most likely, Jackie is a jerk who canned Ray out of pure bigotry, and that's too bad.  Because Ray deserved better.  By my book, at least two minutes worth better.

 

August 30, 2002, New York, New York.  Wow.  In the world of missed opportunities, what can I say about Jackie Mason's stupid, bigoted decision not to let Ray Hanania open for him in Chicago because Ray is a PALESTINIAN-American.

Your TD confesses that he sort of respected Jackie M.'s work (particularly as the voice of the Aardvark on the companion cartoon to The Pink Panther), but now, as far as I'm concerned, Mason can go on the entertainment scrap-heap with Zsa Zsa (she thrust herself onto the scrap heap after making fun of handicapped members of an audience in Philadelphia).

Worst of all, Mason missed a fabulous opportunity, one which your TD WILL NOT WASTE.  THIS (or something like it) IS THE ACT JACKIE MASON SHOULD HAVE PUT ON IN CHICAGO:

Ladies and gentlemen, Ray Hanania.  It does me good to see that there is hope for the world that I, a big Jew, can have Ray, of Palestinian descent, open for me.  Ray, come here, let me give you a big hug.  Whheeeww.  Thank God, ladies and gentlemen, he's clean!  Ray, I usually don't say this to my opening acts, but Allah be praised that you DID NOT BOMB on stage tonight!

 

Hey -- you at that table -- don't all of you know its Haraam to drink -- and those pork rinds -- don't get me started!  But I will hold off on issuing a fatwa against you all if you tip the infidel waiters generously!  And don't think you can hide behind that burqa -- we know who you are!

 

Ray -- how about that Yasir Arafat -- what, with the 1.4 billion dollars.  My regrets to Prime Minister Sharon, but with that kind of money, this guy is not irrelevant!  He REALLY DID have a nickel for every time someone called him a terrorist!  And what's with that thing on his head?  He couldn't pick a better restaurant than PIZZA HUT to steal his shmatta from?  With all your money, Yasir, you could BUY SOMETHING NICE for your head!  And what's with the beard?  Either grow it out, or shave it.  With $1.4 billion, the man can afford a barber!  Am I right, ladies and gentlemen?  I mean, the Ringo look looks good on Ringo, and Ringo is a friend of mine.  Yasir Arafat, you're NO Ringo Starr.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, Ray is a NATURAL for this business.  He's the only guy I know to work the Vegas Strip, the Sunset Strip, AND the Gaza Strip!  So, what's with Saddam Hussein? I hear he's a gas!

 

And Ray, what's this I've been seeing with those horrible pictures of little Palestinian kids with bombs strapped on.  I saw one, the kid's shirt said "Mom and Dad went to Jenin and all they brought me was this lousy exploding belt!".  I mean, with parents like that, does the kid have a chance?  I say we accuse those parents of collaborating with the Zionist entity!

Well, Ray, I know you want to go back stage and wash the camel shit off yourself, and make plans to blow up my synagogue, so let's give him a big hand!  Ray Hanania, folks, he'll be here all week except for Friday and Ramadan!

August 29, 2002 , New York, New York.  Well, through the magic of the Internet, your TD need no longer spend painful hours each evening wading through the frustrating stream of MS Frontpage...now I can dump that on someone else (who can deal with this via an expensive connection overseas!  I owe you lunch, big guy -- and The Raving Atheist -- let's just say he owes you ANOTHER trip!)  And as for what I owe temporary "sort of on vacation site" Unqualified Offerings, well, UO will just have to let me know!  (By the way, somewhere on UO are many of your TD's musings of the week...)

Your TD listened to an AMAZING array of reports on the radio this morning, on a combination of a "classic rock station", and the local affiliates of CBS and National Palestine Radio (NPR).  The classic rock station made fun of the plaintiff in a case from Reno, Nevada, whereby the plaintiff Derek Henkle alleged he was harassed and/or hazed in high school for being gay, and school officials did nothing about it other than to blame him (the station, of course, played an interview with an effeminate sounding young man, whom they proceeded to CONTINUE mocking!)

This mocking by radio personalities immediately brought thoughts of the St. Patrick's Cathedral incident, where, aside from the two CONSENTING ADULTS being arrested (and probably facing real jail time), resulted in pretty much the sacking of an entire radio show (and suspension of many of the station's staff) and, OF COURSE, the intervention of FCC Chairman Michael Powell (yes, he is Colin's son) to bayonet the bodies in the name of the President's "base".

Note what Cardinal Egan's Church seems to be all upset about:  consenting adults (who hurt NO ONE) "defiling" its HOLY PREMISES.  Imagine if the Church brought 1% -- just 1% -- of the vehemence it has shown in the case of "defiling" its BUILDING, to bear against those miscreants responsible for destroying countless lives THROUGH RAPING CHILDREN, and ESPECIALLY holding those in the Church hierarchy to account (yes, Cardinal Law shouldn't still be a priest, let alone a cardinal, and YES, serious consideration should be undertaken as to whether CRIMINAL CHARGES should be brought against the "see no evil when it’s done by priests" Church hierarchy; you know: criminal facilitation, accessory after the fact-- that sort of thing).  Much as the "pledge of allegiance" BULLSHIT by Congress brought the Rabid Dog out of retirement and into his position as The Raving Atheist, I think the use of the FCC to strongarm a radio station, (which to its credit has apologized and sacked all those responsible for the distasteful, though ONLY distasteful, incident), is, shall we say politely, A TRUE CALL TO ARMS AS A #$$%^ VIOLATION OF CHURCH-STATE SEPARATION THAT WE BETTER STOP DEAD IN ITS TRACKS NOW!

As to CBS and NPR, I was listening to reports that Seattle 's James Ujaama (who had previously been given the key to the frigging city because of his good works!) is now under indictment as an al Qaeda operative (i.e., setting up al Qaeda training camps in Oregon ).  Given law enforcement's so-far brilliant record in this department, (Jose Padilla comes to mind) I think Mr. Ujaama's claims of a government witch-hunt should be given a particularly thorough examination.  On the other hand, at least the fact that the tactic of choice was a criminal indictment means SOMEONE in the Justice Department remembered SOMETHING about a certain CONSTITUTION.  That can only be construed as a good thing.

This story (with thanks to blogger and featured link Mark Byron) was ACTUALLY the subject of the NPR story that drove me nuts:  Zambia refusing USA aid of food because the aid might include genetically modified food which, despite over 5 years and millions of AMERICANS eating it without apparent consequences, may actually result in the EU later refusing Zambia's own exports because of its truck with GM food now!  So go ahead and let 2 million plus people starve to death for the sake of political correctness at home, and in France .

I am reminded of the Saudi clerical police who murdered 15 girls at a burning school by ordering them back into the burning building because they came out without their head scarves (by the way -- is there any reason we should leave that country standing?  I can't think of any.  And the Bush family ties with the Saudi royals do not give me reason for confidence in EITHER regime.)  I am also reminded of the first comments made by Mohammed Atta's father back in Cairo after his probable role as ringleader of the 9-11 hijackings was brought to light:  how DARE you accuse my son of going on a drinking binge the night before!  That would be a violation of the tenets of Islam!

Face it Zambia :  no matter how dangerous you think GM is, PC is FAR more deadly.

The other thing I heard on the radio that got my bile up was a recent decision in Florida allowing an employer to ban smoking by its employees.  NO big deal, right?  No smoking, anytime, anywhere, and backed up with a requirement for testing to MAKE SURE the employees are not smoking, apparently backed up by a Florida Supreme Court ruling finding that an employee's privacy interest is outweighed by the company's interest in lowering insurance costs.

Nanny employers backed up by the nanny state.  The nanny state, ladies and gentlemen.  It will be here all week, all month, and forever, until we tell it to back the hell off and let us kill ourselves in peace!

August 28, 2002 , New York , New York .
Bad poetry Wednesday.

And so a sonnet from the talking dog,
Trying to keep a grip on his tough job,
And pay due heed to wife, and child and blog,
All while his head continues just to throb.
Meanwhile the world's news is not all apace,
Osama seems alive and maybe well
Beijing tells us to leave Saddam in place
And Western fires just seem to be from hell.

The Talking Dog has had a real tough year,
It’s been almost twelve months since that big thing,
Methinks we'll have to try to persevere,
And smell the flowers and hear the birdies sing.
We'll just give thanks to those who've helped us through,
And so remember this shall all pass too.

Don't forget to check out Unqualified Offerings, your TD's "sort of on vacation" blog home, and the rest of our great recommended links.

 

August 27, 2002, Brooklyn, New York.  We continue the blogosphere equivalent of the "emergency medical holograph", by sending our continued heartfelt thanks to your TD's home away from home in bloggerland, Unqualified Offerings.  The Kennedy's go to Hyannis, the Boston Symphony goes to Tanglewood; this summer season, the Talking Dog goes to... Unqualified Offerings.  Your TD's brilliant assessment of Saddam's redeployment (i.e., "Abdul, its time for the human shield bit again!)?  Its on UO.  TD's assessment of the perfidious podiatrist of Pinellas County?  UO again.  You get the idea...

 

August 26, 2002, New York, New York.  Welcome readers, to an extremely abbreviated "the editor is out of town on vacation leaving the stupid techno-phobe talking dog in charge of dealing with Frontpage and related issues" edition.  In short, I picked a bad week to give up Prozac. Naturally, I have (strangely) been more successful keeping up and running our blog-child, specifically, our blog-separated Siamese-twin The Raving Atheist).)  We wish our friend and colleague a happy vacation; now get the hell back here!   

OUR HEARTFELT THANKS go out to your TD's home away from home in bloggerland, Unqualified Offerings, for agreeing to put up your TD's post today (the funny one), and (we hope) the rest of the week (this web page stuff-- its just too damned complicated for us lawyer types!)  . 

For those of you who are STILL READING (instead of linking over to UO LIKE I TOLD YOU TO!)  its onto the news: the White House has decided, according to this report from easy-to-spell CNN, does not believe it NEEDS Congressional (let alone UN) approval to launch a war against another sovereign state (though it does think "Congress should be consulted and kept in the loop".)  Am I alone on this?  Has someone not read Article 1, Section 8, Clause 11 of the  constitution? Its sure starting to look like one either believes in the constitution, or does not.  One gets the feeling that our current executive branch is picking a side on this one (and your TD is NOT convinced the Administration is "with us".)

Elsewhere in bloggerland, some, such as the  great Professor Reynolds of Instapundit) are rooting for the "Impeach Mineta" movement.  Let's just say that in a cabinet featuring Tommy "Mr. Anthrax" Thompson, Paul "Clueless" O'Neill, John "No Nickname Needed" Ashcroft, the complaints of long airport lines hardly act to diminish Mineta's stature as a SUPERSTAR!  

Saddam is moving troops into "urban combat" position.  Mesopotamean Stalingrad.  Texas T (for trench warfare).   Does he really think that an air force that routinely seeks legal opinions on blowing up the head of enemy forces while still being able to blow up not one but TWO Afghan weddings can be counted on NOT to blow the crap out of Baghdad ANYWAY-- human shields or not?  Time will tell...

August 23, 2002, New York, New York.  Welcome, welcome to our new featured links Cold Fury and Steve Chapman f/k/a Daddy Warblogs (we'll just call him "Steve").

I am duly chastened after my attempt at humor at the President's expense regarding pre-emptive logging was called by the Unseen Editor (speaking of our new links, Cold Fury has something to say about the Oregon protests regarding the President's statements; Steve Chapman also had logging commentary:  weblog related (he suggested changing our column width; we're always happy to try to be accommodating!)

I think, in the context of Western forest fires, I previously said we have to try SOMETHING DIFFERENT, preferably something that has a documented history of effectiveness.  If increased logging does the job, so be it.  I guess the Bambi set has to realize that, at some point anyway, the trees are pretty much going anyway -- either in a logging operation, or in a conflagration -- so the choice between "nature's beauty" and "clear cut blight" is not only often a gross hyperbole, but may be affirmatively harmful if it mires us in inaction.

Worse than that, I fell into what I will call the "Upper West Side" trap:  every issue must be viewed through the stereoscopic prism of stereotype.  The President is perceived (in Blue America) as environmentally suspect, so when he makes a statement that can be quickly deemed "environmentally irresponsible", I jump on it, regardless of whether the stereotype holds.  (On the other hand, as my last evening's post notes, thanks to the diligent reporting of The Washington Post, the president REALLY IS more interested in his 5K time than foreign policy, national security, all economic issues except tax cuts for deca-millionaires and up and just about anything else in the world with the exceptions of pleasing his parents and baseball.)

Now that the "trillion" dollar mark has been passed in ad damnum requests in lawsuits, hey -- let's do it again.

If conspiring to kill thousands of Americans is worth trillions of dollars, then SURELY junk e-mails and faxes must ALSO be worth trillions of dollars.  America, she's such a great and powerful country that even inanities like this won't bring her down.  Of course, I am reminded of something else.  Liberals (a club of which I was not a member back in the '80's, based on my aphorism, if you're not a liberal at 21, you have no heart, if you ARE a liberal at 39, you have no money) actually thought (and many foolishly STILL THINK) that RONALD REAGAN was the kind of lightweight idiot more concerned with his personal vanity than with good governance who might do something REALLY STUPID AND IRRESPONSIBLE in the foreign policy context and plunge us into some kind of horrible conflagration.  Thank God we have no one like THAT running the country NOW!

 

TD Evening Presidential Extra:  the Hundred Degree Club
August 22, 2002

We knew the President was in great shape, but your TD clearly doesn't know the half of it, as reported by WaPo here.

My favorite quote is:  “If the president of the United States can make the time, anyone can make the time.”  Gee, I don't know, Mr. President.  The people I work for actually expect results: they might be REALLY MAD if I took a couple of hours out of every work day to run.  Fortunately, sir, you don't have that problem.

 

August 22, 2002, New York, New York.  Welcome to our newest featured link on the Dog Run, Electrolite.

Our Unseen Editor will soon be taking a well-deserved vacation across the pond; we believe we can STILL keep this site up technically past tomorrow, but if we can't, I guess we'll have to think about "vacation" sites.  Perhaps Unqualified Offerings?  Or else try any of our featured links -- as Anthony a/k/a "Tony" de Tiger says -- dey're GRRRREAT.  Or something.  (As I've said previously, though, if this site is down for more than, say, 10 days, assume that I am in a military brig as a declared enemy combatant, and send lawyers, guns and money.)

With all due respect, yesterday, the Unseen Editor made an observation on my purported hyperbolic expression of Jewish media control as it relates to soon-to-be-ex-Congressperson McKinney (Disney/ABC- controlled by Michael Eisner -- A JEW; Viacom/CBS/UPN -- controlled by Sumner Redstone -- probably a Jew; NBC, a division of the General Electric Corporation, long known to be a Mossad front; Fox/News Corp., controlled by Rupert Murdoch- a Jew).

Apparently, according to this from "Open Secrets" (with thanks to Instapundit), at least at some point, it was MCKINNEY raising all her money out of state with her opponent, what's her name, getting almost all HER money in-state.  As the Instapundit updates note, there are delays in reporting this information -- but this issue is not NECESSARILY the usual shade of Black and Jew (just because it satisfies an expected cliché), though late out of state money may have been significant to the outcome.

Actually, the UE raises an excellent point, as I torture myself to lay sarcasm aside long enough to complete this paragraph.  As the recent Congressional unity-lovefest to just about unanimously condemn a LEGALLY PROPER NINTH CIRCUIT INTERPRETATION OF OUR CONSTITUTIONAL SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE WITH RESPECT TO THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE (and by the way, Jesse Ventura is right about the pledge:  MAKING a citizen recite the pledge, ceremonial deity included or not, is something Saddam Hussein would do) demonstrates, there are issues where our democracy operates pretty much as the Soviet Politburo did.  For better or worse, American support of Israel happens to be one of those issues (another is my current bęte noir, bankruptcy reform).  If I were of Arab or Palestinian descent, the fact that, as far as Congress is concerned, anyway), Israel can do no wrong (even when it does wrong!), I'd be kind of pissed, and would certainly seek out any remotely friendly voice I could find in Congress.  For Arab-Americans, Cynthia McKinney was their man (er, person).   As Unqualified Offerings put it, if Jack Valenti can buy Congressmen, there is no reason to deny that privilege to others (McCain-Feingold be damned!), be they out of state Arab-Americans, or out of state Jewish-Americans.  If there is a fair criticism of McKinney, it is not that she questioned the knee-jerk automatic support Israel receives in the Congress, its that she is a rather poor spokesperson for those views, and brings baggage to the issue that a better spokesperson might not be burdened with.

Elsewhere in the wacky world,

Letting little kids
Stay out in the sun too long
Is misdemeanor

Your TD, who has a 2 1/2 year old (Baby TD) is not sure where he comes down on this case; obviously, it's the parent's job to keep children safe from harm (and severe sunburn is really nasty).  On the other hand, there seems to be no line anymore beyond which law enforcement will not cross in the name of SOMETHING on behalf of the all-encroaching state (compare, e.g., "war on terrorism"; but also see, compare and contrast another great institutional authority, as personified by Bernard Cardinal Law, and how IT values the protection of children.)  Tough issue.  Still, the original felony charge seemed wildly out of line for what was probably an accident.

Finally, feeling buff from the "war cabinet" meetings, the President now proposes HIS solution to Western forest fires:  chop the forests down first.

Nope, I can't top that.  Won't even try.  [Editor’s Note:  Possibly because you shouldn’t even try.  Here’s the money line from an article in last week’s Economist:  In a strange way, America's war against fires is similar to its war against drugs.  Many lives have been lost and a great deal of money spent struggling against a fearsome enemy.  But too little has been done to address the underlying causes, while a radical solution goes begging.”  Suffice it to say that their suggestions track pretty closely with the President’s.]

 

August 21, 2002, New York, New York.  Many thanks for the kind words from our new featured link Captain Scott.

Your TD notes that HIS OWN Hebrew name happens to be Shmuel, and that he appreciates the reference to "the last Jewish boy to listen to a Talking Dog".   Presumably, the Captain refers to David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam serial killer of the '70's, who allegedly heard voices from a dog.  I am reminded of a MadTV bit where the claymation dog Goliath tells his good buddy Davey (remember that show?) that he must "cleanse the city" by committing murders at lovers' lanes.

Well, on the occasion of Congressperson Cynthia McKinney's primary loss, we take this occasion to thank key blogosphere journalists The Indepundit and our friends at Unqualified Offerings for their yeoman's work following up the Congressperson's 9-11 donations from people with Middle Eastern surnames.  Of course, the blogosphere, which as we all know, is nothing but a vast Zionist conspiracy, obviously wanted to "get" McKinney, because of her anti-Israel stances (and because she's Black).  So, in alliance with Jewish interests, and using the Jews' superior influence (everyone knows that we control the rest of the media and the banking system) the outspoken advocate of freedom Cynthia McKinney goes down in defeat.  [Editor’s Note:  Um, her opponent raised well over a million dollars, much of it from out of state, and presumably mostly from Jewish interests.  Notwithstanding that such out-of-state support is perfectly legal, at what point does a joke about overstated Jewish influence cross over into “methinks thou dost protest too much” territory?]

Finally, the President is at his ranch in Texas meeting with the "war cabinet".  Vice President Cheney will have to sit out on several of the sessions, which we understand include spinning (Condi Rice is excellent at this), pilates (Don Rumsfeld excels at these) and, of course, wind sprints (let's just say the Commander-in-Chief rules in this department).  All in all, a productive session is anticipated.

 

TD Early Evening Laugh Out Loud Post
August 20, 2002

Mohmmar Qaddafi
carries the UN banner
as human rights chief
.

Remember the UN Human Rights Commission the US of A got kicked off of?  In a spate of poetic justice, the commission will be headed by Colonel Qaddafi (however you spell it!).  Obviously, Idi Amin was busy.  (with thanks to Pejman Pundit)

 

TD Mid-Afternoon Congress Extra
August 20, 2002

Well, let's wish good luck to the combatants in the battle for a Congressional seat in Georgia:  Cynthia McKinney, and the other chick.

Meanwhile, in bęte noir news, the bankruptcy bill has not been defeated, so see some amusing cruelties of the new bill, such as making evictions easier!  More to come!  

TD Mid-Afternoon Extra
August 20, 2002

So, it appears that a mere 30 years after the Munich Olympics massacre, German police were willing to storm something to free hostages, in this case, the Iraqi consulate in Berlin.

All involved appear to be unharmed.

Taking hostages in an embassy in Europe where the hostages are ARABS (and not Americans, or ESPECIALLY, Israelis).  What a strange thing to do?

 

TD Noon-Time Berlin Hostage Extra
August 20, 2002

CNN reports that an Iraqi dissident group (naturally, operating OUTSIDE of Iraq) has taken hostages at the Iraqi consulate in Berlin.  We are assuming that they saw the "bat signal" from the roof of the White House during its test run, and didn't actually mean to invade Iraq (or its consulate) THIS FAR ahead of Congressional elections!

If you don't like the weather, or the news from Iraq, WAIT FIVE MINUTES!

 

August 20, 2002, New York, New York.  Welcome to our newest links on the Dog Run, Captain Scott, The Counterrevolutionary and Bo Cowgill...

Busy day here in TD land; but your TD is amazed that a report he heard last night -- about the Administration "debating" whether to attack an alleged al Qaeda chemical/bio weapons lab in Iraq!  It turns out, of course, that the alleged facility is NOT in a part of Iraq controlled by Saddam...stay tuned!!!

 

August 19, 2002, New York, New York.

In all this talk of
The Great Axis of Evil
We forgot China!

Friend of freedom and democracy Jiang Zemin is confounding many by wrangling to maintain his grip on control of the People's Republic of China.  China, as you will recall, was deemed a strategic partner – no, competitor – no, partner – no, competitor – by President Bush in the pre-90%-approval-rating-because-of- 9-11 early days of his presidency, with some troubling events surrounding a downed US aircraft.  To make matters interesting, China is traditionally allied with (1) our new buddies in Pakistan, to keep their large neighbor India off balance; and (2) Axis of EvilTM member North Korea (to keep Japan and the US off balance).  Saddam or no Saddam, China could probably destroy Los Angeles NOW if it felt like it.  In short, Saddam or no Saddam, the world will continue to be a troublesome place.  Much as the nation is delighted to hear Dubya talk tough when the competition is, say, Afghanistan, or even Iraq, let's just say the President's handling of the Chinese air craft affair was less than fully confidence building.

Good news from Iraq?
Abu Nidal, a bad man
Is said to be dead.

Well, long-time Palestinian trouble-maker and terrorist Abu Nidal (so awful that even Arafat hated him and wanted him dead) apparently "killed himself" in Baghdad.  Of course, if this becomes the start of a spate of high level "suicides" in Iraq, we could only (of course) attribute it to Saddam's chess game, anticipating the coming attack (if it comes).  (Unless Abu Nidal was in the Saudi Royal family; you never know!)

In other atrocity news, we direct you to CNN's unearthing of Al Qaeda training for atrocity tapes.  Younger viewers should probably look at something else.

Finally, we welcome our newest featured link Matthew Yglesias to the Dog Run, and we welcome "TD the Wonder Dog" to our home page (the guy holding the small child is relegated somewhere else...)

 

August 18, 2002, East Hampton, NY.

Our friend Pooty Poot
Made a HUGE deal with Saddam
Some good friend he is!

Of course, elsewhere in the Axis of EvilTM Russia is ALSO helping those stable, responsible Iranian clerics build a nuclear facility.  Meanwhile, the US of A (and Western Europe) continue to crassly under-fund the agency responsible for safeguarding the nuclear assets and waste of the former Soviet Union, and a group of countries (including the US of A and Japan) are helping North Korea build their own "peaceful" nuclear reactor.

Chemical weapons
Bothered us not when Saddam
Was Ron Reagan's boy.

Apparently, American officials were well aware that Saddam's Iraq was using chemical weapons against Iranian forces during the war between those two members of the Axis of EvilTM during the 1980's.  Frankly, this type of revelation is not good for advancing American moral and legal authority for taking out Saddam now.

The Saudis are pissed
That Americans would dare
To take them to court.

The Saudis will be ESPECIALLY pissed when the plaintiffs demand INTEREST – expressly forbidden by Sharia Islamic law.

 

TD Troubling Saturday Afternoon Extra
August 17, 2002

Your TD finds himself troubled when he is more or less in full agreement with ANYTHING on the New York Times editorial page (even though your TD proudly insists he is a New York City liberal...)  So, he presents to you this piece by former theatre critic and now proud commentariat member Frank Rich (with thanks to Instapundit).

Further troubling is the public position of Brent Scowcroft, suddenly questioning the coming invasion of Saddam.  If this LEGITIMATELY signals a policy change (in Poppy Bush's mind that is), i.e., if George H.W. Bush (41) somehow thinks that invading Iraq is a BAD IDEA, then I would almost certainly have to reverse my position, and call for an IMMEDIATE, ALL-OUT ATTACK ON IRAQ --  RIGHT NOW.

Scowcroft's statement could just be another clever Bush misdirection designed to deflect attention from the growing evidence that it is Saudi Arabia's government that must be immediately removed, however, so I cannot make this statement at this time.  Stay tuned.

 

August 17, 2002, East Hampton, NY.  Well, thanks to Josh Marshall for getting right to the point regarding the president's recent blustering speech on the $5.1 billion in proposed spending pullbacks.  It was a really bad idea.  The firemen were REALLY upset -- and if there's one unassailable group in post 9-11 America, that would be them.  Mr. President, I have told you time and again:  fluids, fluids, fluids!  Texas is a lousy place to work out this time of year, but if you must, DRINK UP!  The heat and humidity take their toll -- even on someone in as remarkable shape as you, Sir.

Kudos to our new featured link Voice from the Commonwealth.  V from C takes on those who would lambaste the great Charlton Heston (not that I am immune from that, of course), because of his NRA credentials.  Let me say a couple of things:  as to Heston, let's face it Chuck, the NRA chose you because you are a HUGE celebrity -- bigger than, say, Kurt Russell or Tom Selleck.  So, you get your lumps (plus, Guns and Moses is, well, just funny.).  Let me make the more serious Second Amendment point, though, which not only Chuck (and Kurt and Tom) will uphold – with their lives if necessary – but your TD will too.  The Bill of Rights is a funny thing:  if you look at the First Ten Amendments to our Constitution, only the Second and the cryptic Tenth involve anything affirmative; the rest seem to be promises the government won't break.  (By the way, in your TD's opinion, the Tenth is SO vague that it would itself be unconstitutional were it not part of the Constitution itself.)

But the Second Amendment gives the people themselves something (what has been described in this column as the "you keep your guns and we'll keep our porn" social contract).  It gives the people ARMS:  if the government of any American polity (local, state or national) treads too far, ultimately, it must deal with an armed citizenry.  THIS IS A CHECK AGAINST TYRANNY.  Is it the BEST check?  No comment.  But it's in the Constitution (compare and contrast some other "Constitutional rights" invented by the Supreme Court NOT in the Constitution:  again, no comment).  So, my liberal brothers, GET OVER IT.  And be sensitive to Chuck:  you'd be sensitive if ANY OTHER HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY had a life threatening illness, wouldn't you?

 

And from a place where governmental tyranny is NOT unchecked (even with, most likely, a well-armed populace!) -- Mugabe's Zimbabwe, where 80 white farmers have been arrested for not obeying a farm confiscation law (was it like that when Steve Hatfill was there in happy Greendale?  I wouldn't think so...)

 

TD Late Afternoon
Elvis, M.A.D. and Hatfill Extra
August 16, 2002

We Could Not Tell You
How Much You Meant To Us All
When You Were Alive

The King Is Dead, Long Live the King.  I'm not sure what it says about the citizenry of Earth that, (1) the late Elvis Presley seems to be selling more records now than, well, WHEN HE WAS ALIVE;  (2) 25,000 plus people show up for a vigil at Graceland; and (3) Elvis seems to be the number one artist right now, in at least a dozen countries, including Israel and Afghanistan...  It’s probably a GOOD thing that we are all willing to be subjects to the same King.

Baseball players vote
To strike on 30 August
National time: past!

As we (I hope) move on to a national (and preferably international) debate on whether the Bush family's personal feud with the Hussein family (our survey says!) becomes a matter of military action (to rid the world of Saddam’s ability to threaten mutual assured destruction -- which must be carefully undertaken to make sure that the "prophylactic" military action itself does not CAUSE such destruction.)  It is NOT an unserious question to ask about the aforementioned sport of baseball's propensity for....MUTUAL ASSURED DESTRUCTION!  Why?  One very good reason.  George W. Bush WILL NOT BE CONTENT to retire into post-presidential life as a mere big-time speech maker and husband of a senator.  NO!  Although I guess he enjoys being President (great gym facilities at the White House), in his heart, our President wants to be COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL.  He loves the game:  t-ball on the White House lawn, the Andover team, the Yale J.V., the Texas Rangers – it’s just the man's first love.  He will have very little to look forward to (with over TWO YEARS until the election in 2004) if major league baseball has destroyed itself.

Let's hope these guys figure it out...we'll send in Dennis Ross and George Tenet to negotiate with Selig and Fehr...perhaps not...

Been to Harare,
Learned About Germ Warfare
Not Been to Princeton

And now for something completely different, anticipating TD's investigative blogging, Dr. Hatfill denies ever having BEEN to Princeton:  apparently, he has CATEGORICALLY REFUSED to deny having been to Zimbabwe.  Your TD remains angry -- very angry, indeed -- with the FBI's anthrax investigation:  pictures of Dr. Hatfill are now being circulated in the Princeton area.  Your TD gets the feeling that in the bizarrely politically correct post 9-11 environment, FBI agents were specifically under orders NOT to ask about, say, the Middle Eastern guy in the hazmat suit who dropped something in the mail box across from the bio department!

 

August 16, 2002, New York, New York.  After reading this, about the Central European floods that have made their way to Dresden, don't you get the feeling someone there is saying: sure, NOW we get floods.  No floods when we were getting our asses fire-bombed,  no sirree, nooooo!!!!!!!  NOW we get floods.  Danker.  Danker ein lot!  Meanwhile, elsewhere in my fantasy life, neo-libertarian Bruce Springsteen announced that he had absolutely no connection himself to the anthrax case (or any other ongoing FBI investigations), but was joining Richard Jewell, Wen Ho Lee and Steve Hatfill in a special benefit concert to raise funds to fight Western forest fires...

On this story, of the class-action suit filed by 600 or so relatives of loved ones lost on September 11th, your TD has seen various accounts of claims between $1 trillion and $100 trillion.  As, I suspect, the GDP of the planet is not quite up to $100 trillion, I admire the creativity of plaintiff's counsel in asking for such a figure.

From time to time, your TD (a lawyer by profession) comments on interesting lawsuits.  In substance, of course, this case is in NO sense frivolous:  a group of people clearly conspired (and then put their money where their mouths were) to intentionally do harm to another group of people.  In law school, we call such a thing a "tort".  The problems with this case are, alas, more practical in nature.

So, let me first address the "international law" concerns:  for better or worse, private American citizens are unable to launch massive military strikes against foreign governments (or citizens) who cause harm to their loved ones; their remedy tends to be limited to, alas, a lawsuit in the United States.  [Only foreign nationals (particularly from the Middle East) are permitted to engage in private military type actions (i.e., if the victims of those actions include citizens of either the United States or Israel, or preferably, both).  Any American or Israeli who tries, or is even accused of, such a thing will be hauled up before the ICC at the Hague, or subject to indictment under Belgian "universal jurisdiction".]  Anyway, here is a pretty good analysis of suing foreign governments.

Scroling down, you will see a mention of Stephen Flatow v. Iran (see also this), where the father of a victim of terrorism sponsored by Iran, obtained a hefty judgment against Iran, but was not permitted to execute on "diplomatically protected" property, and thus, has what amounts to a Pyrrhic victory.  A 1996 law (the law that greatly helped the Flatow suit) applies to "declared terrorist" states, which include, e.g., Libya and Iraq, but NOT Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan.   Of course, the current suit includes parties besides the government of Saudi Arabia, but given their apparently intimate ties to the Saudi government (and, ahem, the Bush family) to quote a great legal doctrine:  "good luck".

So I suspect one of two unfortunate outcomes to the lawsuit:  either a lengthy jurisdictional battle over sovereign immunity, or a straight default and reliance on the fact that Saudi Arabia is not on our "terrorist" list and thus its assets may quickly be deemed "diplomatic:  and thus not subject to seizure here!  While it will provide some level of satisfaction to