The Talking Dog

December 17, 2004, Living in Sin... New Paltz Rocks...

Welcome to the Republic of Gideon, baby. Yes, your Social Security Administration refuses to accept proof of marriages performed in New Paltz, New York (thanks to the village's Mayor West performing, heaven help us. same sex marriages...) The SSA won't accept proof of any marriages performed in New Paltz-- straight or otherwise. Via No Capital.

It just so happens that Mrs. TD and I were married some thirteen years ago... in... New Paltz... New York...

We're filing for our tax refunds immediately... We'll try to break the news to the Loquacious Pup gently...

After having lived through 9-11-01 from a block away, and its aftermath from a mile downwind, having my nation join the ranks of international pariah states, and now having my marriage unceremoniously annulled, I'm sure you all understand why I am simply not amused by the clowns in charge of our government since 21 January 2001.

Indeed, I am angry. VERY angry. Very angry, indeed.

UPDATE: No More Mr. Nice Blog vouchsafes us the actual SSA regulation involved. Regardless of just how retroactive this ridiculous regulation is, we realy are being governed by meanspirited morons.


Gee whiz, TD.
We heard that Mrs. TD was happy.
VERY happy. Very happy indeed.

Posted by They Call Me Mr. Crabcake at December 17, 2004 5:59 PM

Happy Happy Happy.

Now we can get married again and have another big party and I get a floofy dress and lots of presents and cash.

No really.

Posted by Mrs. TD at December 17, 2004 6:12 PM

If only my first marriage had been in New Paltz...then I wouldn't have had to spend the money for the divorce...

Posted by rorschach at December 17, 2004 6:52 PM

Party and floofy dress sound good.

Seriously, TD, there's plenty to be angry about, but if this is true, it's something to laugh about. What's the Soc. Sec. Admin.'s policy argument here--all historic marriages in New Paltz are somehow tainted by the unsoundness of the mayor's human rights zeal one summer? Some sort of invalidity by geographic proximity to gay people? It's even crazier than Freedom Fries. Are they not accepting proof of marriage from San Francisco, either? What about Boston?

I think you should call up Mohonk Mountain House--this could definitely cut into their business, and they might feel the need to get their publicists working on the problem. Could be a lot of fun.

Posted by mamayo at December 17, 2004 8:35 PM

BTW--if you link back to the original article, Soc. Sec. claims that it's the State of New York's fault--says the State is not accepting validity of New Paltz marriage certificates. (True?) Also that Soc. Sec. won't accept San Francisco marriage certificates as proof of identity, either. No word on whether you are nevertheless entitled to spousal benefits.

However, you've probably got standing, to mandamus the idiots . . . .

Posted by mamayo at December 17, 2004 8:43 PM

Sorry--I love this story.

Occurs to me, TD, that you probably don't have much to worry about--who cares what the Soc. Sec. Admin. does since they're doing away with the whole damn thing, anyway?

Posted by mamayo at December 17, 2004 8:49 PM

As reliable as Arthur D. Hlavaty ( ) usually is, I had a hard time believing it when he linked to this post, saying that gay marriages in New Paltz had, in fact, DESTROYED HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE. And retroactively, too.

Watch out that you don't blink out of existence altogether, folks.

Posted by John M. Burt at December 17, 2004 11:14 PM

Oh, but wasn't it the Republic of Gilead? Or is the Republic of Gideon a place where nobody is a legal resident, and they're only staying on a night-by-night basis, checkout time at eleven?

Posted by John M. Burt at December 17, 2004 11:16 PM

Gee, I wonder if the same thing will apply to San Francisco or if the SSA is just picking on smaller towns?

Posted by RJ Johnson at December 18, 2004 12:00 AM

Mybad. John is right: I conflated the work of Ms. Atwood, which does indeed include "the Republic of Gilead" (as in "no balm in..."), with a Star Trek episode (where, like Gilead, abortion seems to be all illegal and shit, and people keep having children, though on Gideon, there is no disease and the place is hopelessly overcrowded as a result.)

Mrs. TD seems just a tad...too happy with this news (if you ask me...)

I have no idea how many thousands of marriages have originated in New Paltz over the eons (such as my own); the policy of scoring points in the Bible Belt is, of course, about dissing all of twenty-five civilly disobedient same sex couples, and involves a form of record ("the affidavit of marriage") that is not, of course, the official clerk's marriage certificate issued to the likes of us.

All ironic, in its own way: Ulster County, where New Paltz is, usually goes Republican (though it is, certainly in a blue state, and hence... "fuck 'em, they didn't vote for us" applies with the usual vengeance.)

Posted by the talking dog at December 18, 2004 2:28 AM

Mrs. TD seems just a tad...too happy with this news

it's courtin' time at stately dog manor.

I recommend flowers.

Posted by julia at December 18, 2004 6:25 AM

Not quite an international pariah state yet. Some of us still cling to the fact that there's upwards of 50m sensible people over there.

Posted by Ron at December 18, 2004 7:54 AM

I saw this before! It's an Alfred Hitchcock movie with Carole Lombard in it. Mr. and Mrs. Dog, was it? It comes out fine in the end, I think. (Hope that helps.)

Posted by Kip W at December 18, 2004 7:58 AM

In answer to RJ's query, the answer is "Yes, they are doing the same thing to all marriages out of San Francisco". Fuck 'em, they didn't vote for us, either.

Posted by the talking dog at December 18, 2004 10:15 AM

Something just hit me a few days ago that may explain the adamant push for the "moral" stance of the Republicans on same sex marriages..

Could part of the objection be due to the benefits that would be necessary under Social Security if same sex marriages were recognized?

I do understand the hyenas in DC want to abolish all entitlement programs ... never mind the fact that the "Boomer Pigs Moving Through the Python" have paid for it all their lives.

Down with The Croaking Toads in Office!


Posted by Granny at December 18, 2004 1:53 PM

Oh ... btw ... forgot to mention ... invalidating all marriages from a certain town.



Posted by Granny at December 18, 2004 1:56 PM

No longer married, TD? Then come to Korea. I share beautiful blond hookers with you. Or, if you like, we can take a trip through Napa for a weekend, like in that instant classic movie Sideways.

Posted by Kim Jong-Illin at December 18, 2004 2:53 PM

Oh, man. Mr and Mrs Smith? Robert Montgomery. Ewwwwwwww.

Posted by julia at December 18, 2004 6:58 PM

Yes, Julia, there is a Santa Claus: my life has been reduced to an Alfred Hitchcock screwball comedey...

Posted by the talking dog at December 18, 2004 7:02 PM

And the name of the comedy is

"TD Family Plot"

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