The Talking Dog

April 1, 2011, April Fool's Day edition

Although the April 1 edition is a traditional favorite here at TTD, this year I'm having a particularly hard time keeping a straight face with this year's entry... I warn you... DO NOT be drinking soda or anything that might come out of your nose. OK-- you've been warned.

Beloved President of the United States B.H. Obama is actually a Black man

Wait for it... B.H. Obama, that beloved all-American guy we elected President because we loved his God-fearing red-blooded White grandparents (his grandpa fought in the Battle of the Bulge with Patton for Chrissakes)... is actually a Black man. And... this might even be harder to believe... the "B.H." actually stands for (oh man, this is too funny)... "Barack Hussein" and his father was from... Kenya.

And B.H. Obama, who campaigned on a plucky traditionally Democratic campaign of "hope and change" and railed against everything that awful G.W. Bush did when he was President... again, please spit out any liquids in your mouth... continued Bush's policies on Guantanamo Bay, civil liberties, surveillance, tax cuts for the affluent, bailing out banks and big business, subsidies for large oil companies, wars against the Muslim world (and he even stepped up the war in Afghanistan, and started a new war in Libya!), and otherwise propping up the military-industrial (what we have left of industry, anyway) complex.

Notwithstanding the beloved President's seamless adopting of his predecessor's extremely unpopular programs, as soon as word became public that the fiscally orthodox and foreign-policy-reactionary socially conservative President was actually a Black man, Fox News and the Republican National Committee issued a joint press-release denouncing the war-mongering tax cutter as a Kenyan-born, Muslim socialist.

This has been... "April Fool's Day edition."