The Talking Dog

April 1, 2016, TD Blog Interview with Donald Trump

Donald J. Trump is well known as a New York based real estate developer, casino operator and media and reality television personality, and is presently the frontrunner for the Republican presidential nomination. On April 1, 2016, I had the privilege of interviewing Mr. Trump in between appearances.

The Talking Dog: Where were you on September 11, 2001?

Donald Trump: I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. And I watched in Jersey City,New Jersey where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down.

The Talking Dog: Do you have any comment on those who have noted that there is no evidence that happened, and that includes among others, the Jersey City police department?

Donald Trump: You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.

The Talking Dog: There are those who might consider your remarks about women to be somewhat condescending and problematic...

Donald Trump: All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.

The Talking Dog: Well, you've taken on specific women, such as Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly...

Donald Trump: “There was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever."...

The Talking Dog: Or Rosie O'Donnell...

Donald Trump: If I were running The View, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’

The Talking Dog: And women who get abortions...

Donald Trump: There has to be some form of punishment for the woman...some form...

The Talking Dog: Why don't we move on...

Donald Trump: Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.

The Talking Dog: I'm sorry but...

Donald Trump: I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.

The Talking Dog: What does that even mean? Please, sir... you're running to replace (my college classmate)...

Donald Trump: My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault.

The Talking Dog: Barack Obama...

Donald Trump: An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud.

The Talking Dog: OK...

Donald Trump: Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.

The Talking Dog: Why should you be the man replacing him?

Donald Trump: One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.

The Talking Dog: So then, if that's the case... why should anyone vote for you?

Donald Trump: I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.

The Talking Dog: Seriously?

Donald Trump: The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.

The Talking Dog: Alright... let me throw around some issues... like global warming...

Donald Trump: It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!

The Talking Dog: Any other scientific observations you'd like to make?

Donald Trump: I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.

The Talking Dog: Are you done?

Donald Trump: My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.

The Talking Dog: OK... you went there...

Donald Trump: Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, Little Marco referred to my hands: 'If they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee.

The Talking Dog: Let me go back a bit and ask if you have thought further about your controversial immigration comments...

Donald Trump: When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.

The Talking Dog: Apparently you haven't...

Donald Trump: I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.

The Talking Dog: Could anyone question your demeanor and temperament to be the commander in chief?

Donald Trump: The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs...How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Lyin' Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin' Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!

The Talking Dog: Is that your complete answer?

Donald Trump: My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth. Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!
And I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.

The Talking Dog: Well, I see we are just about out of time... anything else you'd like to tell our readers?

Donald Trump: The point is, you can never be too greedy.

The Talking Dog: Wow... didn't expect that... I join all of my readers in thanking you for your time.

Donald Trump: Thanks sweetie. That’s nice.